Hmmmm

I'm in community theater which is so much fun. Unfortunately I have one line, I sing from the wings and I have to go to most of the rehearsals. Has anyone heard the saying "don't murder a minute"? I think I murdered 120 of them tonight. I had my good friend watch my kids (I love you Mal Pal) and her compensation was me cooking her favorite dish, tuna casserole. Not only did I not spend money on paying for a babysitter I also was able to have dinner too. So rehearsals just started and I can't wait for it to be over because I want to start working on getting a part-time job. I know I keep talking about it but I know I need to sacrifice my time away from my family to get us in a better situation.
I still don't know about my raise yet. I'm terribly upset about it. I'm reading Suze Oraman's book, Women and Money. She poses the question of : Why is it that women, who are so competent in all areas of their lives, cannot find the same competence when it comes to matters of money? It made me think of how much I want this raise and how much I really deserve it. I bust my butt everyday and I get a lot of recognition for it. So what am I waiting for? Should I talk to my office manager and demand a substantial increase? My answer is I don't know. The economy is fluctuating right now and I know that I can be replaced. I'm scared to ask. I'm worried that I may be asking for too much even though I deserve it. I'm so confused. I hope Suze has some advice because I sure need it.