A Day to Think July 7, 2008

Today my wheels are turning again. I think I am obsessed with paying off debt. I dream about it and how happy I am not worrying about how I'm going to pay for things. Then I wake up and shrug. Slowly I get up and make myself ready for an 8 hour session at my job. It's the end of a long holiday weekend and I knew it was going to be busy (not bad). So I mentally prepared myself with a cup of coffee (I make my own now because I can't afford to go to the local coffee shop anymore even though I love helping out the community by giving them my money). I turn on my computer and start reading as many PF blogs I can before I make it into the office. I am in awe of all of you out there. I do not feel alone. Some blog titles intrigued me with their titles.
Some include broke, debt, dollar. I wonder if some people out there know what broke is? To me broke is having no money. I mean nada, none, zilch. I am broke. I'm awaiting payday tomorrow. This is a list of today's expenditures. I did well, I meant well but inside I feel like I failed.

Birthday Fund-$5.00- This is not for me or anyone in my family. One of my coworkers is having her birthday tomorrow and we pitch in $5.00 for a gift. It used to be $10.00 last year. It killed me to give this money away. (I am a bit awful because we will have 2 birthdays this month , a wedding to pitch in, swim party at the end of the month. Oh yeah one of our dear patients is very sick and we are attached to them so we're donating money to get them a gift card for gas. I think work is breaking me because that's $50.00 in gifts and misc. I don't have enough money to be spending extra, I sound selfish but OMG $50.00)

Panera Bread - I decided I would go out with some of my coworkers and chat it up. It cost $8.46.
Groceries (partial)- $36.77 - I save $18.43 in coupons but I still felt cheated at the checkout. I made a list prior and deviated by one thing and it cost me $2.00. My son accidentally pulled a box of Cheez-its and put it in the cart. I was in such a hurry to get out of the store that I was not paying attention to what was going on.
That's it, no money left. I don't even have change. I wonder all the time about how I let this happen. Most of the blog sites shows how much they have saved. I have nothing. Honey, I have no checking account, no plastic, or retirement plans. So instead of dreaming I am taking action. I am thinking of more ways to save and I'm getting some good input. Dave Ramsey has helped me by writing a wonderful book. My life is changing and it feels good.